Sarah Uren has made an extraordinary entrance into the world of children’s literature and education. Her first book, Windy Acres Workshop, has already earned a Bronze Award in the Activity Book (Arts & Crafts) category, one of the most competitive and respected sectors in children’s publishing. It’s a remarkable achievement for any creator, let alone a first-time author.
Author and illustrator Crystal Beach has built a body of work that celebrates curiosity, inclusion, and early learning. Her newest book, One Little Witch, moves from the Arctic setting of her earlier titles into a magical pumpkin patch inspired by her own backyard. In this interview, Crystal talks about what drives her storytelling, how her background shapes her creative process, and what she’s learned along the way.
“My passion for early learning comes from wanting to make stories that are both fun and meaningful for young readers.”
Crystal Beach Author/Illustrator
Even in the darkest times, hope and love is what pulls me out and helps me look ahead to the next sunrise.
Joe Lyons-Rising
Grief, trauma, and mental health struggles are experiences that can feel isolating, yet these experiences are universal. In his #1 book Pain Remixed: Navigating Life with Trauma, Grief, Depression and Anxiety, author, DJ, and public speaker Joe Lyons-Rising opens up about losing both of his parents to suicide as a child and the impact that loss had on his life. Through his story he explores not only the weight of trauma, depression, and anxiety, but also the resilience, empathy, and hope that carried him forward. Joe has been featured in Barrie Today, CBC, iHeart Radio, and numerous other media outlets, where he continues to raise awareness and inspire others through his message. In this conversation he shares what inspired him to write his book, the lessons he’s learned along the way, and why he believes hope and love are the most powerful tools we have for healing.
Can you tell us what Pain Remixed is about, and why you decided to share your story publicly?
Pain Remixed is my story of growing up after losing both of my parents to suicide in the 1980s, and how that experience followed me through childhood, my teenage years, and adulthood. The book is about living with trauma, grief, depression, and anxiety, but it is also about rediscovering hope and love. I decided to share my story publicly because I know how isolating mental health struggles can be. If even one person reads the book and feels less alone, then it has done its job.
While you were working with Tellwell on producing the book, what was the biggest lesson you learned during the process? Do you have advice for any prospective authors out there?
The biggest lesson I learned was to always plan for extra time. Editing involves multiple rounds, and ordering bulk books in Canada can take longer than expected. I also realized how important it is to be involved in the design, marketing, and PR. Your own creativity, contacts, and hard work can make the collaboration with Tellwell even more successful.
My advice to new authors is to enjoy the process, especially the writing. Try not to be too critical of yourself in the early stages. Let your creativity flow. You will have more than enough time to edit and polish, but those first raw bursts of writing are what give your book its authenticity.
In the book, you write about losing both of your biological parents to suicide during your childhood. How did that shape your outlook on life and mental health?
Losing both my parents to suicide as a kid taught me not to take people, situations, or opportunities for granted. Life can change in an instant, so I don’t wait when it comes to chasing my dreams. It also gave me a deep sense of empathy for others and what they are going through. When I run mental health workshops or volunteer, I am there as an ally who walks alongside people, not as someone who speaks at them. That shared perspective is what makes the support feel real.
How did your experiences with depression and anxiety influence the strategies you share in the book?
The most important strategy for me has been holding on to hope for a future filled with love and happiness. It is not always simple, and life can make it feel far away, but hope has been the guiding light that keeps me moving forward. Even in the darkest times, hope and love is what pulls me out and helps me look ahead to the next sunrise.
In addition to being an author, DJ, and public speaker, you also volunteer as a grief ambassador and facilitator. Can you share with our readers what that role entails?
As a grief ambassador, I raise awareness for Seasons Centre for Grieving Children by sharing my story with corporate clients, in the media, and in the community. Seasons wasn’t around when I was a kid, but it would have made a huge difference in my life. Now, I do my part to make sure families know the support is there for them.
As a grief facilitator, I volunteer in Barrie every other week at Seasons Centre’s peer-to-peer program. My role is to be a “buddy” to the kids who attend. We work through grief together in ways that feel natural to them, whether that is art, play, or group sharing. The program is guided by a social worker, and my part is to support, listen, and be present for the kids.
What do you hope readers will take away from Pain Remixed?
I hope readers take away that we can never give up hope. Even when life feels dark, there is always the chance for brighter days. Suicide takes away the possibility of experiencing that beauty and those moments of joy that are still to come. We are not alone in our struggles. Most people carry something heavy, and when we open up, we can often find support that makes the weight feel lighter.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Giving back through philanthropy or volunteer work are some one of the most profound gifts we can offer in this life. It changes lives for the people who receive support and for the people who step up to offer it. There is no purer form of love than helping others in need, and the feelings that come from that are truly priceless.
Matt Mallinson is an author, historian, and long-time member of the Oregon-California Trails Association, who also has a strong interest in the film industry. His work often draws on history, science, and the environment to create stories rooted in the American landscape. His latest novel is set on the Great Plains, where a chemist and a young woman uncover secrets of the past through a mysterious connection to the natural world. The book reflects Mallinson’s interest in history, the land, and the choices that shape our future. His debut novel The Writer Upstairs, is more than a book; it has been adapted into a short film that showcases the world of the book and some of the characters, as well as an audiobook.
We spoke with Matt about his inspiration, his ties to the pioneer trails, and the themes behind his writing.
Without the past, we would not have the present, and there would be no future.
Matt Mallinson
What inspired you to combine science, history, and environmental themes in your latest novel?
Whether one is presenting a topic to a large convention audience, college or high school classroom, or just a small group of individuals, the speaker must know the intended audience to keep the subject engaging. The same for novels: know your audience. No matter one’s age, they can find intense interest in at least one of the three: science, history or environmental themes. All subjects are relatable to the reader.
Can you tell us about the reclusive chemist and the mysterious woman? What drew you to these characters?
Actually, the characters found me. No joke. Most good novels need a love interest, and these two, from their prior lives, seemed to have the need to bump into each other and connect. The two, and another major person in the novel, spent their well-structured and calculated early educational years being taught together. Eventually, their career paths separated the chemist and our mysterious woman, eventually coming together in the middle of the chemist’s family mountain.
How did your experience with the Oregon-California Trails Association influence the historical aspects of the book?
The Mallinson family has a deep and rich history in this area. I have grown up with family stories about the Civil War, watching the battles from an adjacent hill. Farming during good and bad years. A Native American that was always supplied a place to stay on his travels. Molly, Rex, and a variety of work animals. Gunplay, fist fights, and everything else that happened during frontier travels. These learnings gave me an appreciation of history and that we should make every possible effort to learn, treasure and respect the past. Without the past we would not have the present, and there would be no future.
Your book trailer is very thorough and well produced, and you act in it as well. Why did you think it was important to put so much effort into a promotional video?
I feel very strongly about the messages that we need to learn from nature, past cultures, current issues of the world, and ways to not only solve problems but to prevent new ones. We should meld the knowledge of the past with present knowledge to try to create a better future. I feel that the videos will increase people’s awareness of this present novel and the series soon to follow. I hope the more people that read these, the better place the world can become. As far as acting? Who better to play the part than the one who created the character!
What do you hope readers take away from the novel, both in terms of story and larger themes about the planet and human connection?
For a story to be of interest, it should be relatable to its readers. The Writer Upstairs is very relatable to common issues we all face. Every animal species has an expiration date. I hope these topics will stimulate enough people to take some actions to help postpone the human expiration. Working together to solve problems instead of pointing fingers or following the almighty dollar should allow us to prosper into the next millennium. We face world hunger, energy shortages, and overpopulation, just to name a few. We should search for the best solutions, not the ones that make the most financial sense to only a few.
How has living on the oldest road west of the Mississippi influenced your perspective as a historical fiction writer?
I grew up on an 1850s family farm along the trails. My children are the sixth generation in this area. I own the first natural springs that the westward travelers stopped at after they disembarked the steamships on their way to Independence. If I am quiet at night, I think I can hear the voices of the half million people that walked down this road. My mother was considered the historian for the county. I remember her looking at the large trees and saying, “If only trees could talk.” If I could be like The Writer Upstairs, I could tell more stories. She knows how to listen.
Dr. Mark Tyndall has spent decades on the front lines of public health, supporting marginalized communities and making advancements in harm reduction. In this candid interview he discusses his latest book, Vaping: Behind the Smoke and Fears, which makes the case for vaping as a misunderstood but potentially life-saving alternative to smoking. Drawing from his extensive medical and research background, Tyndall unpacks the myths, media narratives, and policy failures that continue to cloud public understanding, and explains why embracing safer nicotine options could be one of the most important public health shifts of our time.
Most campaigns against vaping are just not truthful or based on science. They are based on fear and stigma.
Dr. Mark Tyndall
Your career has spanned infectious diseases, public health, and harm reduction. What first drew you to focus on tobacco harm reduction and the potential of vaping?
My medical career has really revolved around HIV prevention and care. When I started medical school in 1982, HIV was just emerging as a curious disease among gay men. No one anticipated a global pandemic that would claim over 40 million lives. At the beginning, there was no treatment for HIV and prevention was the only option. Even today, when effective treatment exists, preventing HIV transmission is a global priority. I worked with groups that were particularly vulnerable to HIV transmission: heterosexual couples in sub-Saharan Africa, gay men, women who sold sex, and people who injected drugs. It was clear that sex and drugs could not be stopped and the only way forward was to provide options that would reduce but not eliminate the risk: education, condoms, clean needles, for example. This is harm reduction. So with that background it was pretty clear to me that vaping was a very effective harm-reduction intervention with global implications. Taking the world’s most deadly activity—smoking cigarettes—and offering a much safer alternative: vaping nicotine.
In Vaping: Behind the Smoke and Fears, you describe vaping as one of the most significant public health breakthroughs of our time. What do you believe are the biggest misconceptions about vaping today?
I have taken a deep dive into the subject over the past few years and it is hard to list the biggest misconceptions because there are so many. Sometimes I think there must be a massive conspiracy to protect cigarettes. It is irrefutable that cigarettes are massively more harmful than vaping nicotine. There is no reasonable argument to the contrary. However, most people believe that vaping is just as harmful as cigarettes and public health authorities have been reluctant (or negligent) to correct this misconception. So that would be the number-one misconception. The second is that there is a youth epidemic of vaping that is very harmful. While there has certainly been a lot of young people experimenting with vaping over the past 10 years or so, this peaked in North America around 2018 and has been falling since then. The proportion of young people who now vape daily or who would be considered to be dependent on nicotine is quite low and certainly less than the number of young people who would be smoking cigarettes. This should be seen as a public health win. In addition, there have been very few adverse health effects reported and not a single death from vaping nicotine. The third main misconception is that this is an attempt by Big Tobacco companies to addict a new generation to nicotine. This is far from the truth. Tobacco companies are quite happy selling cigarettes. Although they see a gradual decline in richer countries, the global market continues to produce massive profits and vaping is disruptive to their industry. They are quite happy to have government policies slow down the evolution of safer nicotine products.
You’ve argued that public health policies on vaping have been shaped more by fear and ideology than evidence. Why do you think so many health organizations and policymakers resist embracing vaping as a harm-reduction tool?
This blows my mind. It is entirely irrational. The tobacco control “industry” has been working on abstinence-based approaches to cigarette smoking for decades. They have supported the use of nicotine patches and more recently nicotine gums and sprays, with the goal of eliminating cigarettes. However when vaping came along, they didn’t know what to do. It looked a lot like smoking and it went against the abstinence messaging. They then turned their attention to nicotine addiction and started to vilify nicotine. Agencies that are into tobacco control now talk mainly about nicotine addiction as a reason for restricting vaping. They have also focused mainly on youth which is really a distraction from the main goal of eliminating combustible tobacco and saving the lives of people who currently smoke. They are so entrenched in their abstinence-based world they see no way out.
What role do you see misinformation campaigns and media narratives playing in shaping public perceptions of vaping, especially around youth use?
It is currently out of control. Most campaigns against vaping are just not truthful or based on science, they are based on fear and stigma. They are not particularly effective to dissuade youth from vaping but have created a lot of uncertainty in general. These youth campaigns are a big reason that adult smokers are reluctant to switch to a much safer product. They also create panic among parents who are at the forefront of demanding unreasonable restrictions on vaping products.
Looking ahead, what policy changes or public health initiatives would you most like to see implemented to advance the conversation around vaping and save lives?
I think that eventually a more rational approach will emerge, but unfortunately it is likely to take some time. Obviously, the availability of safer products should be made easier than cigarettes. So there should never be policies that make cigarettes more attractive than vaping. There should be places where vaping is allowed but not cigarettes. Taxes should be much lower on vaping products. Flavours should be widely available for vaping liquids. The promotion of vaping should include relative risk information comparing it with cigarettes. There should be national smoking cessation targets using vaping and safer nicotine products to reach those goals. A smoke-free society is what we are striving for. Not a nicotine-free society.
For readers who may be skeptical about vaping or unsure what to believe, what’s the single most important takeaway you hope they get from your book?
I am always confronted by people who are skeptical or unsure. As a physician I have no problem with patients asking questions about my decisions in their care. In fact I encourage it. I want people to feel confident that if I recommend a certain diagnostic test or order a certain medication, that I have done my homework and have experience dealing with similar illnesses. I don’t take this lightly. But my experience with vaping is very different. Although I am an expert in harm reduction and know a lot about the deadly impact of cigarettes and the relative safety of vaping nicotine, I am constantly faced with skepticism and push-back. I hope that the book can convince people that vaping and safer nicotine products present a major breakthrough for public health and can start to reverse a century of tobacco-induced devastation to human health. At an individual level I hope that this book can convince people who smoke that there are now far better options. They don’t have to die just because they use nicotine.
This month we’re shining a light on Ryan Lawrence, the author of Vindictive, Vindictive Too, and The Night Belongs to Lovers. He talks about the ups and downs of writing parallel storylines; what it means to create real, unapologetic queer characters in crime fiction; and how everything from vintage razors to pop culture references influence his work. Ryan opens up about his world of characters, what’s coming next, and what it takes to capture a readers imagination.
Writing from a place of unfamiliarity, from a place of creative guesswork, is a choice that comes with risk. Nowadays, readers are keen to sense forced, potentially contentious characterizations. I refuse to be this type of author.
Ryan Lawrence
Vindictive and Vindictive Too unfold over the same three-day period, but from different perspectives. What challenges did you encounter in writing parallel narratives?
Vindictive and Vindictive Too were originally one novel. I gave the first draft to my husband to read, and when he returned with his comments he’d missed a few key revelations. That was an issue. I had to accept that my opus needed to be reconfigured as two books to create better flow and read more coherently. Both major and minor storylines and characters needed more room to breathe or I risked other readers missing climactic elements too. Since two novels weren’t my original plan, I had to figure out how to separate individual storylines without compromising the overall connective narrative.
I needed to find a natural point of division to split my book into two and keep it cohesive. This would allow each part to tell its own complete story with a satisfying arc while still contributing to the overall narrative. I didn’t want to alter my timeline by making the second novel a sequel, pushing the events of that book forward, and having them occur after those of the first book. I wanted a companion novel. So, the three-day storyline would remain intact. The final chapter of book two occurs directly after the last chapter of book one, leading directly (well, 6 weeks later) into the third novel.
The foremost step was to determine that Jules’ storyline would be featured in the first novel while the primary focus of the second novel would be on Det. Declan James, the mysteries of the Morrison Farm, and the Berges—Jacque and Marie. I examined the interpersonal relationships among all the characters, placing those more directly involved in Jules’ revenge storyline in Vindictive.
To be honest, I didn’t find the process particularly challenging. I knew the key to properly managing multiple parallel storylines was to plan everything in advance and keep track of who said and did what, their locations, and future destinations, including whether they lived or died. Ultimately, to work this narrative weaving successfully, my organizational skills, patience, and perfectionism proved highly effective.
You’ve discussed the importance of queer representation in thrillers. How do you ensure your characters transcend stereotypes and offer authentic portrayals?
Multi-faceted diversification is what makes Queer Thrillers so enticing. It’s unlike all other Thriller sub-genres because it intentionally focuses on placing queer characters in situations where they can be active and complex protagonists or antagonists, not merely pitied, disposable victims. Or worse—one-dimensional villains characterized by offensively exaggerated mannerisms and affectations. Queer people exist in the world, in various places and societal positions, and with the capacity to do both good and evil.
I feel it’s perfectly acceptable to use a character’s sexuality or love life as a plot point—both positively, such as in romance, and for conflict, such as in narratives involving hate crimes or the kidnapping of a partner. However, it’s lazy, problematic writing to suggest that a character is miserable or evil because they’re queer, as if that explanation is the Rosetta stone of answers for LGBTQ+ stories involving trauma and villainy. I find that approach offensive and trite.
As an OwnVoice author, I write from a place of authenticity. Being gay/queer, I embrace my unique experiences, both painful and incredible, and utilize them to enrich my stories and diversify character personalities. I also do my research into the lives and experiences of other queer people because I cannot speak for every LGBTQ+ person; we all have different backgrounds and relationships to queerness, homophobia, and love. I look to see how I can weave the essence of their authentic selves into my work to avoid heteronormative and/or problematic narratives.
Writing from a place of unfamiliarity, from a place of creative guesswork, is a choice that comes with risk. Nowadays, readers are keen to sense forced, potentially contentious characterizations, language, and scene creation. Stereotyped characters come into existence this way—from a lack of respect for discovering who these people are, their lives, and their stories during the writing process. I refuse to be this type of author.
Your novels feature distinctive weapons on their covers, like the karambit and straight razor. How do these elements tie into the narratives, and what was the design process like?
Neither weapon was chosen in advance, though I knew a weapon would be pivotal to major scenes. I first crafted the scene, considering who would be wielding the deadly object and what their intentions with it were: fighting, self-harm or murder. With the karambit, I wanted a smaller fighting weapon that could be used simultaneously in both hands. I researched, looked online, whittled my idea down to blades, and settled on the karambit. It looked sleek yet rugged, a cool combination of military combat style and martial arts. The retro-style straight razor worked for the environment of the scene(s) and the historical context of the rural family it belonged to: the abuse and brutality.
The cover design process for Vindictive went smoothly. I provided a picture of the exact karambit I wanted and asked for a few tweaks: make it black and have the end not as hooked as it traditionally tends to be. It came out perfectly. I’ve had compliments from mixed martial artists regarding this cover! With Vindictive Too, the straight razor proved more of a trial, getting the vintage look—style and colour—just right for the cover. The shadowing effect is what connects the two covers, which I love. I initially had the blood on the karambit drop down to form the dot in the last “i,” and then I changed my mind and took it out. I regret that decision, as the blood on the razor looks killer (pun intended)! Hindsight is 20/20.
You’ve mentioned a passion for comic books. Have any specific comics or graphic novels influenced your writing style or themes?
I’ve been obsessed with superheroes since I was a toddler. I have around 20,000 comics in my collection. However, I can’t say that comic books have significantly influenced my writing style or themes. In Vindictive, Phillip loves comic books and, in one scene, wears socks featuring my favourite superhero: Nightwing. That’s pretty much it.
Now, television and print media? They’ve significantly influenced my themes and writing style. Shows like Twin Peaks and Revenge, along with the works of Anne Rice and Matthew Pearl, have been particularly impactful. I frequently turn to comics and superheroes to escape the world’s harsh realities, including the darker, more violent aspects of my writing. I enjoy the colourful and cheerful adventure stories from comic books that brought me joy as a child and continued into adulthood.
What has been the most surprising feedback you’ve received from readers about your work?
The most surprising aspect has been the characters that resonate with readers, particularly those I never expected to have such an emotional impact. One character who has truly stood out is Phillip; readers can’t stop talking about him! Sure, he’s your classic hunk, a Chris Hemsworth-type, but I never anticipated he would become as popular as he has. It never ceases to amaze me how certain characters can strike such a chord with people.
Can you share any details about upcoming projects or themes you’re excited to explore in future writings?
Last year, I participated in an OwnVoices project called Haunted Hearts, a supernatural gay romance series, with my ghostly, vampirish novel The Night Belongs to Lovers. This was my first stab at writing outside the Queer Thriller genre—and I loved it! We’re doing it again this year! My upcoming Haunted Hearts gay paranormal romance novel, the witchy I Will Always Find You, is set for an October 7th release. This project features some outstanding writing from several very talented gay/queer men.
Readers have been asking when the sequel to Vindictive and Vindictive Too is coming out. Admittedly, I’ve witnessed a few eye-rolls whenever I’ve said, “Soon—ish.” Well, I’m currently working on the third book now! No title yet, but I’m looking at an Autumn 2026 release. Yes, we are returning to Fairporte, Toronto, Jules, Phillip, Declan, Jacques, and poor Marie (poor, poor Marie) and all the blood, sex, and tears you can stomach in a Canadian revenge thriller (with queer content)! I’ve even connected my Gay Paranormal Romance books to the Vindictive series. How? Read closely and see! There are subtle clues in the Haunted Hearts books and a big one in the upcoming third Vindictive Series book.
From consultant to thought leader: Gary Cox shares the journey to his book Cultivating Champions of CI : A Leader’s Toolbox for Creating a Continuous Improvement Culture
One thing I have acknowledged and accepted is this fundamental truth: we all experience the same challenges in leadership and business success.
Before we get started, tell us a little bit about yourself!
Born in England, my family immigrated to Canada in the fall of 1969. I was 10 years old. I have lived in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, ever since. I married my high school sweetheart and this year we’ll celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary. We have two daughters, both with families, each having two children. They live close so we spend lots of time with our grandchildren. I am very blessed by my family and circle of close friends. I retired from Canada Post Corporation after a 38-year career. I started that career as a letter carrier delivering mail and ended in the position of National Director of Process Engineering, Innovation and Integration. I was responsible for our Continuous Improvement Lean Six Sigma training and improvement projects. I had an amazing team and colleagues. After retiring I joined Barrington Consulting as their lead CI trainer and we started a new line of business, Operational Performance Services (Barrington OPS), servicing public and private sector clients in training, mentoring, and coaching leaders and frontline staff in the continuous improvement of their business processes. I’m very passionate about supporting people in their growth and achieving their business and personal goals.
What inspired you to turn your experience in CI into a book?
The last sentence of the previous question really sums up why. A book is one way to help others learn and grow in their leadership and in development of others, and I accept that helping others succeed is a measure of my own success. If I can share my 25-plus years in what I’ve learned as a leader, mentor, coach and continuous improvement student and advocate, and make a positive contribution to the growth of others, I consider it an honour.
My business mission statement, which I share in my book is: “To be recognized as a leader with integrity in operational efficiency by utilizing proven methods and practices. My mission is to coach and mentor others in their self-development, helping them increase their knowledge, skills, and attitudes toward achieving both personal and business goals.” I wrote that statement a decade into my career and it remains a guiding mission for what I do. I have a personal mission statement too, which overarches my business mission statement.
Kay Sparling’s Mission THAW is a gripping spy thriller that blends high-stakes espionage with the world of opera. Drawing from her own journey from an Iowa farm to performing in Vienna, Sparling brings authenticity and depth to her protagonist, Kaitlyn Stewart. In this interview, she shares how her personal experiences shaped the novel, the challenges of tackling dark themes, and why she chose the independent publishing route. From the elegance of the Viennese opera scene to the pulse-pounding dangers, Mission THAW delivers action and adventure.
Enter Kay Sparling’s Goodreads Giveaway for a chance to win a copy of Mission: THAW.
Kaitlyn Stewart’s journey from a farm in Iowa to an opera star in Vienna is unique. What inspired you to create such an ambitious character?
Well, those are actual facts about my own life. I grew up in Midwest farmland surrounded by soybean and corn fields, and went to a small school in the nearest tiny town twenty miles away. I left to go to college and voice training at the age of 17 and ended up in Europe as an opera singer 12 years later. When I was in middle school, my dad bought me a map of NYC. I put it up on my bedroom wall and pinned the location of all the famous Broadway theatres and the Metropolitan Opera. I guess you could say I was a goal-driven kid.
Vienna plays a central role in the story. How does the city’s cultural heritage and high society influence the narrative and Kaitlyn’s journey?
Since Kaitlyn is an opera singer, the Wien Staatsoper is a perfect venue to set the story. Viennese culture eats and breathes opera and classical music. The famous cafes lend a spark of romance for the opera aficionados to meet and gossip about the latest diva debut and hope that they get a glimpse of her sitting with a famous maestro. One persistent possible stumbling block for Kaitlyn is to always keep up with all the high-society manners and traditions. A high demand for an American farm girl. But, in order to infiltrate the trafficking cartel, she must be convincing that she is one of them. Kaitlyn is always relieved to come home at the end of the day, kick off her shoes, and eat a BLT. The upper-class nonsense makes her teeth itch.
In this interview, author Monica Buchanan shares her powerful journey of healing from childhood emotional abuse and neglect. With a PhD in psychology, along with a master’s degree in Women’s Studies, Monica spent her career counselling, coaching, and providing psychotherapy. Now semi-retired, she continues her passion for helping others by developing strength-based community resources for marginalized and underserved communities.
Writing has always been an outlet for her, but turning personal experiences into a memoir was a deeply emotional and transformative process. She opens up about revisiting painful memories, the challenges of sharing such intimate parts of her life, and the healing that followed. We also discuss the importance of self-belief, mindfulness, and her advice for others looking to tell their own stories.
My healing process started in my adolescence years after moving away to another city to attend college. I met a psychologist at the nearby university who helped me.
Monica Buchanan
What inspired you to share your personal journey of childhood abuse and neglect in this book, and how did you work through revisiting those painful memories?
My inspiration to write about my lived experiences with childhood emotional abuse and neglect came from a few defining moments and events. First, as a child I kept a diary. During those early years I realized that when I wrote about my pain and hurt I felt better, lighter and less burdened. Second, in the mid-eighties during my undergraduate degree program when I entered my first Women’s Studies class, a lightbulb went on. I cannot recall who said it or where I read it, but somewhere in that course I heard the phrase “my story is your story too.” I remember thinking: If I write my story, more women will be inclined to open up and speak and write their stories of early abuse and neglect within their families.
Revisiting memories of my childhood abuse was painful. It was re-traumatizing and I had to focus on the need to forgive and let go. I had to let go of the desire to hold on to resentment towards my family for the pain they inflicted on me. This was very hard to do.
You mention that childhood abuse and neglect don’t have to result in a lifetime of pain. Could you share more about the process of healing that you’ve experienced and how others can start their own healing journey?
Honestly, I believe that we can all garner strength and grow from painful experiences in our lives. The way I see it, when we become aware that we have been abused and that all our suffering was not our fault, we are at the fork where we can make choices. We can make the decision to wallow in the painful past, feel sorry for ourselves, and remain stuck, or we can decide to heal and grow. I chose the latter.
My healing process started in my adolescence years after moving away to another city to attend college. I met a psychologist at the nearby university who helped me. She told me that none of the earlier childhood abuse and neglect I experienced was my fault. I believed her. From that moment I treasured those words in my consciousness. Of course, my growth was not smooth sailing. I continued to make mistakes and stumble along the way, but I knew I was going to be fine. My sense of self was assured by that early encounter and I started believing in myself.
Survivors can start by (1) seeking out intervention and support (for example, most local counselling centres offer free resources; YouTube videos and libraries are great resources too), (2) embracing a resounding sense of belief in oneself, and (3) accepting that the abuse was not your fault and that the adults did not protect you.
I strongly believe that all survivors can embark on their own healing path. Healing looks different for everyone. Survivors’ development pathways have been altered by selfish adults who did not protect them. The pace also looks and feels different for everyone. I encourage all individuals to start where they are at. The moment, space, and time when they become aware that they have been wronged in their childhood is where they need to start the healing process.
Your writing blends storytelling with a reflective approach to your experiences. How do you balance sharing such intimate details with making the narrative accessible and engaging for readers?
I consciously use a storytelling meaning-making approach to writing about my lived experience, because this methodology is interactive and engaging. For instance, as the author I invite my audience to join me as I weave through the different stories of my life and make sense of those experiences.
Deciding what to share and what not to share was tough. I don’t have a definitive answer except that I simply decided not to censor my writer’s voice. I trusted my gut feeling and followed my intuition. I decided to suspend judgment from myself and possible judgment from readers. I trusted myself and told my story because that was the story that was meant to be shared.
My writing style is not meant to be prescriptive. I encourage authors writing about tough personal issues to write their manuscript as it emerges and then decide what they wish to share with the outside world. For example, I tortured myself as to whether or not to share about the early childhood sexual abuse, took it out, put it back in, etc. But I weighed the benefits of helping others against my fear of being judged, so it stayed in the final manuscript. My purpose is to help others uncover ugly, dark, and uncomfortable lived experiences in their childhood.
What was the best part of the publishing process?
I loved my publishing experience. I guess mainly because I had a lot of input, a sense of control, including turnaround timelines, editing, and design. I knew that I did not want to feel rushed or have control taken away from me, and that did not happen with Tellwell Publishing. Every step of the way I was in a decision-making position, which worked perfectly for me.
Do you have advice for other authors who feel unsure about writing a memoir and sharing their personal journey?
If I can offer any advice it is this: just write. Do not worry about audience response, the book-marketing process, or fear of negative reviews on social media. Some people are going to like your book and some will not. It is your memoir and if you feel the urge to write it, then do it. I am glad I did. I now use my book in a purposeful way as a tool to show survivors (and non-survivors) who just want to write about their lived experiences how to do it. Whether they turn it into a published memoir or not, the process of writing is empowering and healing in of itself.
In the book, you talk about feeling like an outsider and struggling with low self-esteem. How did you eventually come to realize that those feelings were a result of your environment rather than something inherent in you?
If I was to pick a moment that I became aware that environmental factors were contributors to me feeling like an outsider and to my struggles with low self-esteem, that would be hard. Because there is not a single defining moment when I stopped feeling like an outsider or healed from my struggles with low self-esteem. It has been a lifelong journey.
After my initial therapeutic intervention when I was about sixteen years old, I continued to grow and heal. Formal education, self-awareness, and acceptance that I am OK all contributed significantly to changing the growth landscape for me. Be reminded, though, that traumatic childhood experiences can continue as permanent baggage and creep up on us when we least expect them.
For example, recently a four-year friendship with a male colleague ended abruptly without a goodbye or explanation for the end of the friendship. This was a relationship I had invested in emotionally. I wasted a couple days searching inside myself—what did I do to cause this friend to reject me and refuse to speak to me? What I might have done differently? Blah, blah. Of course, those lines of self-inquiries are directly related to my childhood father’s issues, yet it took me a few days to realize it.
You mention that resources for understanding your experiences were lacking during your childhood. What kinds of resources do you think are most vital for children and adults growing up in similar environments today?
As a child growing up in Jamaica in the sixties there was very little awareness of the lasting impact of emotional abuse and neglect on children. In today’s world there is a lot of information available for adults to stop causing harm to children. In today’s world, people who inflict emotional abuse and neglect (or any form of harm) on children are cruel and selfish. There are, for instance, YouTube videos, web sites, community parenting classes, counselling, and numerous psychological accessible resources. My parents did not have access to such resources, so they did the best they could.
In addition, there are resources for children in libraries, school counselors, recreational clubs, etc. It is important to note that I am not suggesting young children are able to empower themselves in reducing the harmful behaviours of adults. The responsibility lies with adults always for intervention and reductions of harm to children.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Some final thoughts. I want to encourage anyone considering writing a memoir to just start writing. Don’t get hung up on whether others will like (or approve) of your story. Think about how you want to release your story (self-publishing, traditional publishing, or oral storytelling). Remember, it is your story that you have lived and so it is your story to tell the best way you deem fit.
Richard K. Lowy is featured on Global Television, the CANDLES Holocaust Museum, the Jerusalem Post, and over 413 other media outlets across the United States. Both the book Kalman & Leopold: Surviving Mengele’s Auschwitz and the documentary Leo’s Journey: The Story of the Mengele Twins tell an extraordinary story of survival amidst the horrors of the Auschwitz death camp. This harrowing account sheds light on the unspeakable cruelty of Josef Mengele’s experiments, while celebrating strength, friendship, and the human spirit. Through the firsthand accounts of two survivors, Kalman and Leopold, readers are witness to the depths of one of humanity’s darkest chapters.
Authored by Richard K. Lowy, who is the son of Leopold, one of the survivors, the book is both a meticulously crafted historical narrative and a deeply personal tribute. With over five years of dedication to preserving his father’s testimony, Lowy takes readers on an emotional journey from the horrors of Auschwitz to an extraordinary reunion with Kalman over fifty years later. As the world commemorates the 80th anniversary of Auschwitz’s liberation, Kalman & Leopold stands as a timeless call to remember the past and ensure that such atrocities are never repeated.
How did it feel when Kalman and Leopold reunited after you released your documentary?
When Kalman and Leopold reunited following the release of our documentary, Leo’s Journey: The Story of the Mengele Twins, it was an emotional and profound moment that left a lasting impact on me. Watching them reconnect after over five decades of separation, each having endured unthinkable tragedies, felt like the culmination of a journey that began in Auschwitz. In a world where few could truly understand what they experience, the only person who could was the other. Their reunion was not just an emotional healing experience for them, but a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
What makes their story so unique is that only a handful of survivors had such intimate contact with Dr. Josef Mengele, the notorious “Angel of Death.” Kalman and Leopold were among the very few who directly endured his cruel experiments and survived, making their testimony an important contribution to history. Their shared account, corroborating each other’s experiences, offers a powerful perspective. This combined eyewitness testimony is critical in deepening the world’s understanding of the atrocities that took place behind the closed doors of Mengele’s Auschwitz.
In addition to their direct encounters with Mengele, Kalman and Leopold’s story includes their rare experience of working in the SS guard shack of the hospital camp, witnessing the inner workings of the machine. This insight into the operations of Auschwitz, from a vantage point no others had (with the exception of the guards themselves), adds a vital layer to the historical record. Together, these elements make their testimony an essential part of Holocaust history. Helping to reunite them and bring their story to life is now an integral part of my legacy, one I hope will continue to educate and resonate for generations to come.
What challenges did you face when creating a chronological order and timeline for the firsthand information you collected from your father and Kalman?
It was an incredibly challenging process. The events they lived through were harrowing and fragmented, and their memories often didn’t follow a linear path. Survivors of traumatic events like the Holocaust sometimes experience disjointed memories and emotions that can cloud the clarity of specific details. There was also the language barrier, English was not their first language. This meant that piecing together the timeline required not only a deep understanding of their experiences but also a sensitivity to the psychological impact those experiences had on them.
One of the biggest challenges was organizing the vast amount of information in a way that was coherent and meaningful for the readers. I wanted to ensure the narrative flowed logically while still preserving the emotional depth of their stories. a painstaking process over five years that involved a lot of patience, empathy, and dedication. The goal was to create a historical baseline that provided the proof of the crimes committed while honouring their memories and experiences, bringing their stories to life in a way that would resonate deeply with the readers.
How do you think preserving firsthand survivor stories like this one can shape the way future generations understand history?
Preserving firsthand survivor stories like Kalman and Leopold’s is crucial for future generations to understand history. These stories humanize historical events, making them more immediate and personal, and help foster empathy. They show the resilience and courage of individuals who endured incredible suffering, offering lessons in survival and exposing the dangers of hatred, intolerance, and discrimination.
As Holocaust survivors pass away, their testimonies ensure that the lessons from the greatest crime against humanity are not forgotten, testimonies that help guard against misinformation and denial. These stories are vital to remembering the atrocities and teaching future generations the importance of standing up against injustice, ensuring such evil genocides are never repeated.
Writing about such profound suffering must have been emotionally challenging. How did you approach balancing the pain of the story with its message of resilience?
Writing about such profound suffering was emotionally challenging, but the truth is, I wasn’t “writing” their story or “balancing” anything—this is Kalman and Leopold’s testimony, shared in their own words. My role was to edit, ensuring their message was clear while preserving the essence of their experiences. The balance between the pain and resilience in their story was never something I consciously imposed, it was woven naturally through their personal accounts of surviving unbelievable horrors.
Leopold’s determination to protect Kalman and his hope of reuniting with his sister became his anchor in the face of suffering. Meanwhile, Kalman clung to their fragile bond as a lifeline, refusing to succumb to despair. At the heart of their testimony lie these deeply personal experiences, striking a poignant balance between the abyss of hopelessness and the will to live. My role was to ensure that the power of their message was clear and uncompromised.
What was it like working with Tellwell to self-publish such a unique and important piece of literature?
Working with Tellwell to self-publish Kalman & Leopold was a rewarding experience, though I’m sure the team had their hands full with me. I don’t think I was their typical client, and when they first took on this project, I don’t believe they fully grasped the weight of what I was trying to bring to light.
That said, they were incredibly supportive throughout the entire journey, even as I remained highly involved in every aspect of the book’s creation. I had to ensure my fingerprint was on everything—from the design of the cover to the layout of the interior. At one point, I’m fairly certain they gave up on counting the revisions I made! But, at every step, the Tellwell team not only embraced my input but made the concerted effort to ensure I was getting exactly what I envisioned. Their unwavering patience and dedication were vital in bringing this important story to life.
The process took five years from start to finish, and during that time Tellwell never pressured me. They understood the significance of this work and fully supported my efforts, offering guidance without stifling my creative control. Their expertise helped me ensure that the final product was a true reflection of the story’s importance.
While all the staff at Tellwell played an essential role in bringing Kalman & Leopold to life, I must make special mention of Simon Ogden. His patience and unwavering support were invaluable in helping me navigate the complexities of editing and self-publishing. His thoughtful guidance ensured that this important piece of historic non-fiction literature was presented in the most impactful way, honouring the legacies of Kalman and my father, Leopold.
As this book launches on the 80th anniversary of Auschwitz’s liberation, what message do you hope resonates most with readers and audiences worldwide?
My hope is that it resonates deeply with young readers, offering a powerful lesson about resilience, humanity, and the importance of remembrance. Their words reveal the incredible suffering they endured, their hopes, their fears, and, ultimately, their story of their survival. Through their story, young people can learn that even when everything seems lost, we must hold on to our self-worth and dignity. These cannot be taken away from us.
Kalman and Leopold survived cruel sadistic brutality beyond imagination, yet they found the strength to rebuild their lives. Their resilience and ability to maintain their humanity in the darkest moments are vital lessons for the next generation. Kalman’s unwavering determination to find Leopold after fifty-six years and reunite with his boyhood friend to share this extraordinary testimony is a testament to the power of connection and the importance of remembering history.
Kalman & Leopold isn’t simply just a book, it is a powerful message to future generations about the strength of the human spirit, the need to preserve our humanity, and the responsibility we all share to ensure that such crimes of humanity are never allowed to happen again.
https://www.instagram.com/kalmanandleopold/
